In my work the word is used mainly as a reference to a lifestyle that promotes inner awareness and consciousness as well as self-discipline through practice. These kinds of alterations to one’s life have, through the ages, proven to have profoundly healing and transformational effects on the physical, emotional and interpersonal lives of diligent practitioners. For, in truth it is only through the discovery of illusions of self that we can transcend the problems of daily life and the only way into these illusions is through hard, personal work.

An English translation of the first chapter of the Tao Te Ching (one of the oldest texts ever written and the founding script of Taoism) says, “the Tao (way) that can be spoken of is not the eternal Tao (way).”  Immediately the astute reader must check his or her capacity for (and level of interest in) understanding through intuition or ‘reading between the lines’.  From this very first sentence the reader is introduced to an existential paradox which is a defining aspect of Taoism as well as eastern thought, in general.  One must ask oneself, how am I to understand the meaning of something that cannot be communicated in words?

With that sudden moment of introspection, the reader has entered into the kind of intimate and personal landscape that tends to be a defining feature of eastern mysticism.  For it is not only Tao Te Ching that asks something extra of the reader.

In Bhagavad Gita (an ancient text which is a base of Hindu philosophy) Lord Krishna speaks to his disciple Arjuna while they are at war together.  Their conversation becomes very philosophical.  At a moment when any normal warrior would prefer to focus on survival they are pondering the very real dilemma facing anyone charged with killing another human.  Arjuna asks Krishna, ‘who am I to decide the fate of another?’

These kinds of questions strike at a very core of the reader’s sense of self.  This kind of literature- dialogue, in the case of Bhagavad Gita, and poetry, in the case of Tao Te Ching, ask us to look inward.  Apart from the fact that these texts were written millennia before any of the influential western philosophers, what is most interesting about them is that they not only ask the reader’s undivided attention.  They require something more: a kind of commitment, a discipline.  On the most superficial level they put us in a place of looking inward rather than toward the other.  In a more profound way, they teach us how to ask ourselves the kind of questions which create a space for silence and stillness to be nurtured.  In our personal transformation these are the some of the most important qualities we can develop.

The Importance of Silence

Someone who is new to Tantra might notice the immense feeling of gratitude or compassion they feel.  Another may notice a deep sense of relaxation or the disappearance of a long-held chronic pain.  Still another may suddenly find that they are no longer interested in eating certain kinds of food and make a radical shift to their diet.  Once a person begins to take deep responsibility for their own happiness and well-being, significant transformations can begin to take place at any moment.  This is because of their new-found potential for an important aspect of being human: silence.

For a person to be silent and still it means that their being has passed through a process of emptying.  This emptiness can take place on various levels.  On the physical level one may use the toilet to empty one’s bowels or bladder or go climb a mountain when they feel too much energetic tension.  On the mental or emotional level, talking to a friend or loved one can help to unburden a heavy load that is no longer needed.  For some people it can feel immensely satisfying to check thing off their ‘to do list’ by completing quotidian tasks, like paying bills.  Why do we feel the need to empty ourselves?

On an intuitive level we understand that ‘emptying ourselves’ in these various ways is needed to create space to receive.  To receive nourishment, to receive healing touch from our partner, to be able to accept and appreciate the refreshing scent or visual appeal of an apple blossom in spring means that our hearts and minds are not busy with something ‘more important’.  It means we are available to take in the world around us.  This ‘taking in’ is a vital part of our healthy functioning and participation in our world.  It is not that we have to try to receive, however.  It is more a matter of not trying.

Whether we’re aware of it or not we are often managing our conscious, day-to-day lives while shutting out interactions with people or situations that we feel will be unpleasant.  Boundaries are a vital aspect of human relations in our day and age.  Yet the unconscious management of some of these boundaries can create a lot of stress and tension.  Conscious awareness of how we use our boundaries and why is an integral part of beginning to release habitual tension in our lives.  Only through becoming aware of our own personal unconscious conditionings can we develop a clear and complete picture of who we are, of our true nature.

Stillness is healing

In many alternative healing modalities, it is understood that for a person to receive treatment one of the most important requirements is that the person be able to relax.  Relaxation is related to receptivity.  For a person to be relaxed or calm it means their defenses are not prepared for conflict.  This person is not ‘on guard’, they are open to receive information, touch, empathy and lovingkindness.  The person is receptive and receptivity requires letting go of what we’re holding.

Western (allopathic) Medicine has coined a term for the optimum state of being which allows humans to rest, relax, restore and recover.  The parasympathetic state is a physiological state most often experienced during sleep.  The ancient Greek shaman/ healer Asclepius was famed for creating and maintaining a space where his patients could easily enter this state of being, but that was simply the beginning.  Asclepius was known to use the natural world, specifically the snake in his therapies.  Records of a specific species of this serpent were known to roam freely on the floor of the Abaton (holy healing space) and thereby influencing patients’ healing processes, including through their dreams. The first century CE Greek philosopher Cornutus had this to say about Asclepius:

 “Asclepius derived his name from healing soothingly and from deferring the withering that comes with death. For this reason, therefore, they give him a serpent as an attribute, indicating that those who avail themselves of medical science undergo a process similar to the serpent in that they, as it were, grow young again after illnesses and slough off old age; also because the serpent is a sign of attention, much of which is required in medical treatments.”

Transformation and emptiness

Just as Asclepius’ snake symbolizes the letting go of the old to make way for the new we must come to understand what is actually available to us in this void.  Through turning and facing this emptiness we actually create a time and a space for the hitherto exiled aspects of self to be integrated.

The late mystic Manual Schoch says of emptiness, 

“The power of emptiness does not come through as just one state, or one feeling. It comes when everything is included. It’s like a puzzle. The total power of the picture exists and can be seen only when all the pieces fit together. Not only is there the sun representing love and a flower representing beauty, but there is also the shit-house next to the house, making up the whole picture. Each piece has a value but it never has the power of the whole picture. And that whole picture is beyond the yesterday, the tomorrow and the today.” Manuel Schoch

Here Mr. Schoch describes a person who is not oblivious to the difficulties and disappointments that exist in the world but who is neither blind to its joys and wonders.  What is more important is the person’s ability to see beyond past or future into the living and vibrant present.  It is only through conscious awareness that one can develop the capacity to be content in this present moment.  Yet one of the most difficult paradoxes anyone on a spiritual path can face is the question of when, or perhaps how to ‘let go’ into the present.  It is precisely this question that brings us back to Tantra.

The person who has a natural interest in this personal investigation, into the nature of their own consciousness, is a person who is ready to walk the path of Tantra.  This person yearns to finally take responsibility for himself or herself.  As the seeker’s interest in his or her own responsibility grows this interest increasingly includes new perceptions toward their own actions, thoughts, gestures and speech. For the real gift of Tantra is not what we learn from it but what we must naturally ‘unlearn’ to become our most essential selves.

What denotes a seeker on the Tantric path is the constant unlearning and casting away of old and useless self-perceptions and identities, and the subsequent repeated and intentional movement toward personal refinement, which is really a movement toward his or her essential nature.  For, it is only through the rummaging through and discarding of our internal detritus that we can discover what is most essential.  This refinement is a continual process that can only be carried out by each one of us, alone.  The eventual gift is emptiness.  Only when we learn the art of emptiness can we avail ourselves to be filled with true energy; with transpersonal and universal consciousness, and eventually absorb into Tao.

The above description is unique to my childhood but not at all unfamiliar to a child whose light has not yet been dimmed by the harshness of common culture. As adults, we all have the capacity to remember these moments of essential, primordial ecstasy.

As a teacher of Daoist arts, Yoga, movement and Sacred Sexuality these primal themes are the most fertile soil from which to derive authentic experiences in adult life. These memories harken back to the calm before the storm of the multitude of experiences that take place in an adolescent life which, by force and over time, shape him into a ‘responsible’ young adult. As anyone who has participated in counseling or therapy knows, a great number of the disturbances we must process to become emotionally healthy in adulthood come from these formative years.

Working in the field of Sacred Sexuality one must begin to have deep compassion with oneself. This compassion comes as a result of experiencing one’s longing for connection with a lover, but the longing for connection with the other is often the manifestation of a more profound longing to know oneself. When an adult embarks on the journey inward to know him or herself, one chooses a path. If the seeker is serious this path becomes sacred. Just as a child is mesmerized by the shadow cast by a tree in the wind, for an adult everything on the path becomes sacred.

Essential nature

The idea that everything is sacred is of fundamental importance in Sacred Sexuality. The Daoist internal alchemical and sexual arts as well as the, much misunderstood tradition of Tantra both testify to this truth. The Ancient Daoists sought techniques to come closer to their truest human nature. Human nature, they felt, was not inherently flawed, as is a common belief in many modern religious faiths. On the contrary, they felt that a human’s most pure energy (ie. intention, motivation and will power) came from that being’s true communion with nature. Their wisdom and longevity arose from the belief that the cultivation of this most essential and undiluted life force was the most effective way to live life well.

They also believed that as everything in existence is natural (that everything is sourced from the earth) everything also has a sacred essence. In our modern age it is often difficult to extend the concept of natural origin to such modern human inventions as wi-fi, toxic waste or processed foods. A modern Daoist would argue that while humans are from nature and therefore all our processes, products and beliefs must also be natural, the excessive decline of human contact with the natural world, evidenced in increased pollution, global warming and nuclear proliferation are just a few examples of proof that humanity is moving dangerously in the opposite direction from its destined communion with nature.

In the Tantric tradition there is the legend of Saraha. A tantric master, Saraha was born into a very high caste in India. He was a Buddhist monk and scholar, who, influenced greatly by Tantrism, renounced monastic life to become a wandering yogi. He then met an arrow-smith woman of a much lower caste, who helped him to realize the pure nature of awareness. He, himself became an arrow-smith. Living with this woman in the charnal grounds, he mocked the falsehoods and self-deceptions he saw in the contemporary religious practices of his era and taught that spiritual realization cannot result from renouncing the natural world. Tantric scholars credit Saraha with the themes of the “inborn/natural way” and the “piercing arrow of realization” that came from Tantric texts and sages after Saraha.

Harmonizing Opposites

In both Daoist and Tantric cosmologies humans represent an event in space and time where the divine polar energies of yin & yang and shaki & shiva meet and become one. Furthermore, both schools have as a profound aspect of their respective faiths the belief that sexual energy is a creative, healing and life affirming force that is not different or divisible from the energy that we use to drive a car or talk on the phone. Each of these traditions has a very long history with sutras, texts and accounts of sages, which act as supporting evidence of their validity and prove their value to the evolution of collective human awareness.

For centuries the modern world has been awash in confusing and misguided beliefs about the true genius and potential that is alive but dormant in the human mind, heart and spirit complex, and especially within the human body. Techniques of pleasure and ecstasy, the transmutation of life energy into spirit, esoteric and energetic healing techniques, and in short, human magic have for so long been held out of view of common culture. Historically, this was done by the detractors of these traditions- the lords, kings and later, governments who feared the political fallout of a self-empowered populace. The hatred and bigotry that arose as a result of the marginalization of these traditions caused their respective leaders to hide and keep their precious information secret for centuries.

Nowadays, through modern media, many of us have easy access to Tantra, and though it is less widely known, Daoist sexual practices. Modern culture, however, presents new challenges to the authentic dissemination of this information. One who is enthusiastic to learn techniques of mutual pleasure, self-mastery and energy cultivation must temper their enthusiasm with careful research about the aim of the workshop and the expertise of the teacher. It is an unfortunate truth than many who seek this valuable information end up in undesirable circumstances with people who have little or no practical experience. Moreover, it is a pity that sincere seekers are drawn toward Tantra and Sacred Sexuality, but often what they find in its place is little more than a glorified orgy. These kinds of experiences have the unfortunate and inevitable effect of leaving would be sacred sex practitioners feeling alone and unsupported in a potentially very vulnerable emotional and mental state.

A State of Grace

In its most breath-taking moments, Sacred Sexuality is an individual path through the world toward unification with ultimate reality, and the work of increasing selfawareness and expanding consciousness is by definition challenging. One who is diligent repeatedly meets and then breaks through her or his emotional and energetic barriers. One walks alone toward unity with the divine.

But this does not mean we are completely alone on the path. Part of what makes this work so appealing, fun and incredibly freeing is that in a safe and well maintained environment one feels supported by others who act as witnesses and friends on parallel paths. The deeper we go and the more we trust these friends act as guides and messengers from the beyond. They become indispensable gifts, who in turn appreciate our gifts as well and then our definition of “lover” takes on a whole new meaning.

In so many of its permutations Sacred Sexuality is a return to the innocence and freedom we experienced as children. This work is imbued with an understanding that healing can and must happen through the journey back to our essence. To arrive at our essential nature we allow our adult consciousness to pass into a childlike state of wonder and awe at the sensual, emotional and material world; not as a child but as an adult who has passed through the difficult, beautiful and important circumstances life brings. To come full-circle in this way is a definition of wisdom and those of us on this path would have it no other way.

The Nepali culture is a complex mixture of down-to-earth pragmatism with a bewildering number of rituals and customs as well as taboos. This is perhaps not surprising due to the combination of their location in the high hills (at nearly 2000 meters) and their Hindu- Buddhist traditional background and the fact that they are nearly all farmers.  Trying to get to know these people is further complicated by the fact that some Nepali are more or less Buddhist or Hindu than even some of their close relatives, but mostly by the fact that there are hundreds of ethnic groups intermingled within communities whose names signify specific languages, heritages, places of origin differences and, perhaps most importantly, caste designations.  Often these names are their surnames so they are unavoidable markers.  It was into this milieu our NPR clinic began to run, suddenly, after so many years of its doors being closed to treatment.

The fact that NPR had earned such a good reputation from years of past service and the fact that the villagers needs were so great is what created such a demand for treatment.  Within the first week of opening we went from having around 20 patients to over 40, per day.  Despite the wide variety of root issues we saw among the people the overall complaints were for pain, mainly of joints and back.  Perhaps 80% of the cases we treated for knee and lower back pain, most often manifesting concurrently.  We understood this to be owed mainly to the farming lifestyle along with the fact that most rural Nepalis don’t own or wear closed toes shoes and, more significantly, that Nepali houses are rarely heated.

Having been already prepared for the cultural shock of living in rural Nepal from my previous travels and having had appropriate experience from my previous year as an acupuncture intern as well as having run my own makeshift clinic, I felt more than ready for a fast- paced triage clinic.  Depending on how the day unfolded I found myself observing the clinic director, Aram, complete his diagnosis and hand the patient off to me along with a point prescription and a recommendation to use the Electrical stimulation machine.  Quite often, however, I would complete the diagnosis myself and continue on to the treatment while periodically checking with Aram about a point combination or for his opinion on a patient’s pulse.  I learned many things from this experience.  First, I had to become quite adaptable to the situation in a variety of ways.  I had to learn to wear many hats as a coordinator, therapist and leader for the three nurses and one other volunteer.  Aram would often be working on a sensitive case and the clinic had to keep moving.  I needed to be sensitive to cultural and religious issues as Nepali people can be quite conservative.  Above all, however, I need to trust my own instincts and knowledge in terms of diagnosis and treatment styles.  There was no time to constantly ask someone for help.

I was surprised to realize that I felt quite comfortable and self-assured in this respect.  I now understand that that is owed almost entirely to the intense effort I had put into the study of Chinese Medicine and acupuncture during the previous years in the various schools and with the various teachers from whom I have learned.  The confirmation was that, though the clinic was full, many of the people were new.  People were coming from the southern border of Nepal.  People were arriving after days of journeying and organizing to stay with friends in order to have a few days of treatments in a row.  The ones that came back had improvement to their pain and if they didn’t we had a variety of options to treat them and were able to find something that worked.

I am very grateful for this entire experience as I feel that I was prepared all along for this.  This internship was my opportunity to begin the process of refinement of a knowledge base that will last a lifetime and will undoubtedly morph into an authentic and artistic style of healing.